A bit after 1 pm on Tuesday most of the residents of Charleston, Berkeley and Dorchester Counties both heard and felt a massive sonic pressure boom that rolled in off the Atlantic Ocean. Windows rattled, furniture bounced, and knick-knacks wobbled on shelves and mantles. Almost immediately, the U.S. Geological Survey reported that there had not been an earthquake. A few hours later, the military reported that the sonic booms were probably the result of Marine Corps supersonic jets doing training exercises 20 to 30 miles offshore.

Understanding that there may be some doubt that such a sonic wave could be created by a military jet offshore, U.S. Geologists explained that the intensity of the blast wave was magnified by an “atmospheric inversion.” You see, there was a layer of warm air over Charleston that was lying over a layer of cold air which speeded the sonic boom toward shore and amplified it. Right.

When I was younger I might have believed such hokum. As you get older you have a choice; you can wiz’en or you can wise’n. Anybody who doesn’t smell the odor of rotten fish wafting in from off-shore with that sonic boom doesn’t have their nose in the air. Better yet, I have proof.

At almost exactly the same moment of the “sonic boom”, the billion dollar EPIC electronic medical record (EMR) at the Medical University crashed. That’s right. I’ll repeat that to make sure you heard me. Immediately after the “sonic boom” roiled its way into Charleston Harbor, MUSC came to an abrupt halt when its EMR crashed for the first time ever. No admissions, no discharges, no clinic check-in or out, no appointments scheduled, no labs drawn, no supplies for the OR, no pharmacy, no notes, no documentation- nobody even knew where to find paper and pencils.

The IT staff went into emergency response and thankfully, all the billings were saved and EPIC came back on-line in about 4 hours. Everyone was so relieved that no one remembered to ask why the crash occurred. It remains a mystery.

So you can believe that a Navy jet off-shore passed gas and windows shook 30 miles away because of an “atmospheric inversion” or you can turn on your Snowdenometer for a minute. Best case scenario, a U.S. military trial of a weaponized Electro-Magnetic Impulse was far more successful than anticipated. One of our medical students has a brother who is a Marine pilot at the Beaufort Naval Air Station. He called his brother who reported that he was the pilot of the offending supersonic jet fighter. However, our student reported that his brother sounded disturbingly robotic and there were multiple clicks on the phone receiver while they talked.

A not so best case scenario is that was a small scale or near-miss Electro-Magnetic Impulse attack on the United States by a foreign power. My best guess would be a North Korean Electro-Magnetic Impulse as they have been the most bellicose and belligerent of our most current adversaries. There have long been rumors of a North Korean sleeper cell at MUSC. The government would never disclose that until they have matched the technology, found a way to neutralize it and have plotted their revenge.

My fears were heightened even more by media reports Thursday afternoon of residents describing sonic booms and feeling the ground and buildings shake all along the coast from New Jersey to Connecticut. Navy spokeswoman Connie Hempel (they always send a woman when it’s a really big lie) said that F-35C and F-18 jets from Naval Air Station Patuxent River, Maryland were conducting supersonic testing off the coast Thursday afternoon. She released a statement that aircraft from the Naval Test Wing Atlantic were conducting “routine” flight testing which may have resulted in sonic booms.

A geophysicist from the U.S. Geological Survey reported that there were 9 total booms occurring between 1:30 and 3:00 pm Thursday afternoon and that there were certain atmospheric conditions that can increase the likelihood of sonic booms being heard on-shore. Sounding eerily familiar? Yet no mention of the Charleston booms.

To me, this raises another even more horrifying scenario. Under the guise of off-shore oil exploration, the government has been probing the earth’s mantle for a weak spot with deep-water detonations. Beneath the outer crust is a subterranean strata and we all know what’s what inhabits that space. The subterranean strata is home to Godzilla, monstrous Kracken, giant man-eating piranhas, evil transformers and that big-ass ugly thing from Cloverfield.

Admittedly, it’s impossible to know for sure. There’s no way to know if the mantle has been penetrated or not. However, the Thursday “sonic booms” off the coast of Jersey certainly concerns me that something, who knows what, is making its way up the coast heading for the New York Harbor and the Hudson River. Whatever it was, hopefully the Navy was able to take it out on Thursday somewhere off the Delmarva Peninsula.

Until we know for sure, I promise you that I’m going to keep a sharp eye out for anything unusual washing up in Shem Creek and I’m going to keep count of the number of shrimp boats that go out each morning and come back each afternoon. If you hear another boom any time soon, my advice would be to clear out of town and head inland.

Release the Kracken!!!

While I have been employed at the Medical University of South Carolina for more than 30 years, this is a personal blog and my opinions do not represent the opinions of my employers.